It makes sense that at 18, "my turning 30 year old fears" consisted of things like grown up responsibility, expectations of settling down, and 'bigger picture' focusing… Clearly, these views were a reality, a year later, but yet, 30's gloom still has lingered through the last 12 years.
Still, I don't know how to express or justify these feelings into words, but I'm sure someday, reflection will bring perspective on this milestone birthday and the significants of it as well. But for now, my going with the idea that my 30th birthday is like most people's 40's "big gulp moment" {as my friend Erica put it} and I'm just mature and wise beyond my years.
Despite that avoidance of acceptance, the overwhelming show of love from my friends and family's birthday wishes, their thoughtful gifts received, and supportive texts and call, did wonders in softening the blow of the day's purpose.
In these 30 years of mine, I've made it a point to surround myself with people who are worth my efforts and allow myself to selfishly pull from the natural goodness they bring to this world daily…. but when this generosity of theirs is focus it on me, I can't help but find it humbling.
I'm very lucky to have all of them part of what has made up the good in my first 30 years of life and can hope I am just as lucky to have them as what I'm sure will be the best parts of the next 30…
{Don't even get me started on my thoughts of 60!!}
Happy Sunday!
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